I'm fairly sure this is what i want...

And so it's been the most bizarre week in a long time...

I'm currently installing a new carpet in my life and it's changing the whole atmosphere in the room that is me.

So here's the carpet as it stands (aka things i'm sure of):
1. God is good
2. Who am I? = God is with me. There's that identity I've been looking so hard for.
3. I really like red wine.
4. I really need to be single.
5. It doesn't matter what career/partner/life i choose or find myself in as long as i keep rooted in God
6. Life's better when you're perspective changes and the only thing that's important is learning to dwell more and more in God
7. My brother's a twonk and needs to give in to God
8. Some people for various reasons are wary of me... and that's ok because i'm gonna try my hardest to have integrity and behave myself in all situations
9. I have a rather naughty and mischievous streak and i'm not letting go of it
10. My hair has grown remarkably long and i was pleasantly shocked when i straightened it for the first time in ages.

So although i am a Laura with many issues, indeed a baggage lady, I'm happy. And i have hope. And a few of the big choices i've made of late appear to have been the right ones for a change.

And now a chorus of bind us together... all together now

ciao

x

Someone stole my carpet...

Mmmm due to rude comments left on my last post i shall be making even less effort with this one. Let that be a lesson to you.

So today i am mostly feeling bunged up and croaky, and much like something really significant and life changing happened and i was late and missed it...

my newly single status has left me numb and wondering whether i'll ever actually be capable of a meaningful real relationship...but that's far too deep for now. My parents abandoning me to them Africans and my ER buddy running away to who knows where all adds to my feelings of rootlessness.

Also it has been covertly brought to my attention that i really rely on people for my identity and worth, namely boyfriends. And for the first time I am left with no one to lean on for affirmation like i'm used to. And how do i feel? pants. And it's been all but a day since my world finished it's pulling out of rug act and i'm completely lost. And it turns out i cry. To top it all off i'm a right girl.

So what from here? well one does wonder, i remember the frivolous times of hamster versus llama and oh how i mourn those simpler days.

I think i shall become a baptist nun.